Issue 187, page 5

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Laughing Stock

Fun with Excision!

Chalantly, I strode into the party, despite my efforts to seem gruntled and consolate. Furling my wieldy umbrella, I saw her: descript, gainly, in total array; her hair kempt, clothing shevelled.

I knew we'd have to make bones to meet since I was travelling cognito. Beknownst to me, the hostess---whom I could see both hide and hair of---was extremely proper, so it was skin off my nose if I misbehaved.  And though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn't be peccable. Only toward and heard-of behavior would do.

Fortunately, the embarrassment my maculate appearance might cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but chances someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata---or a sung hero---were slim. I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion.

I decided not to risk it, then---all at once, for some apparent reason---she looked at me and smiled in a way I could make heads and tails of. I was plussed: it was concerting to see she was communicado; and it nerved me she was interested in a pareil like me, sight seen. Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I felt capacitated---as if this were something I was great shakes at---and forgot I'd succeeded in situations like this only a told number of times. After a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings. 

Since this was all new hat to me, I had no time to prepare a promptu speech, and I was petuous. Making only called-for remarks, I talked about hors d'oeuvres, trying to abuse her of the notion I was sipid, perhaps even bunk a few myths about myself.

She responded well, and I was mayed she considered me savory---up to some good. When she told me her name, I advertently exclaimed, "What a perfect nomer!" then our conversation became more and more choate. We spoke at length, to much avail, but I was defatigable so had to leave at a godly hour.

Asking her to join me---to my delight---she was committal, and we've been inseparable ever since, living in perfect, requited love. 

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