Issue 167, page 5
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This week, one of the smartest comedians around shares his wisdom.
The "Wisdom" of George Carlin
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
6. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
7. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
13. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
14. Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is NAIVE?
15. OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans ? [The Houston Oilers! - M&M]
16. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
Thanks to Mike Lenahan who gets the $10 gift certificate!
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Last Updated 08/23/02 10:33 PM